ON A MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

I was on the train to my mother’s house in a small village in the country. I was living in a city and had no need for my own car, as everything I needed was close to hand (pubs mainly). If I did need to venture further a field I would use the public transport system as we had buses trains, trams and cycle paths everywhere if you wanted to go it alone.

My mission for the day was to dig up a large yucca that was slowly taking over my mothers’ driveway. She was concerned that the roots would undermine the foundations of the house. It was early March and an ideal time to be moving shrubs.

I had done a bit of preparation work earlier on in the previous year. About 9 months previous I had dug a circular trench one-spade width wide parallel with the leaf spread of the yucca. Then I had back filled the trench with sharp sand to encourage fibrous, feeding root growth, which would help the plant to re-establish quickly after it had been moved and re-planted.


MOVING THE LARGE YUCCA
The yucca was definitely too big for its spot so after a cup of tea and a chat with my mother to get the local gossip (the man at number 32 still sits on a kitchen chair on the pavement and supervises his wife as she washes his car), I carefully set about digging up the twenty year old ten-foot palm. The preparation work paid off and after about an hour of digging I managed to prize it from the side of the driveway and carefully placed the root ball, complete with fibrous roots, in a large industrial bin bag. I got loads of duct tape around it for strength, which sealed it up to keep the moisture in. The reason for this attention to detail was that the plant was coming home with me on the train to be pride of place in a communal garden in the block of inner city flats where I was living.

The journey back on the train was a bit uncomfortable as the train was full of holidaymakers coming back from a dull day at Skegness (it’s a place on the east coast of England a bit like Portrush but not as pretty …you can’t see the sea when the tide goes out.) The yucca had it’s own seat and I did have a few admiring glances, (well I think they were), to which I nodded in approval.

CENTREPIECE
I eventually made it home to the flat, having dragged the plant and large root ball for a mile through the city, leaving a trail of soil and bits of duct tape behind me, and set about digging a hole for the plant to be put into. It took a while, as I wanted it to be firmly set into the ground so the wind didn’t rock it about.

Moving any established tree or shrub is risky and sometimes, in my case, embarrassing. Any plant will suffer stress when uprooted, which often results in growth being checked. I was willing to take a chance with the yucca.

PLANTING THE MOVED SHRUB
Back in my garden, the hole I had dug was the same size as the root spread plus an extra 50cm (20in) wide and about 30cm (12in) in depth. I forked over the bottom of the hole, adding some rich organic matter to help establish the growth and reduce it dying back. The rootball was taken out of what was left of the bin bag that was protecting it and then I placed the plant carefully into the hole, spreading out the fibrous roots.

The old soil-mark on the stem of the yucca was the guide to the correct new planting depth. This would prevent replanting too deeply (one of the biggest killers of all plants). Equally, planting with upper roots exposed will damage most plants, so they were pushed well in. I firmed around the yucca, which gets rid of air pockets. Just for good measure I staked it with two poles laid at a 45 degree angle and tied around the plant stem and then watered it in.

FANTASTIC
It looked fantastic and set the garden off a treat, a truly great centrepiece that the residents will enjoy for years to come. It was getting dark by now so I went indoors, feeling as though I had done a good job.

Someone else must also have thought it looked good too. The following morning I got up and opened the curtains to admire my handiwork. The yucca was conspicuous by its absence and there was only a gaping hole to show where it had been.

I am not really sure what happened to the majestic centrepiece, as it was never seen again. There was a report of a white transit van driving away down the road at high speed very early in the morning…..
But there’s nothing strange or unusual about that….. is there?…..

Clearing out the shed

MAKING THE WORLD A BRIGHTER PLACE

I am clearing the shed out. It’s one of those jobs that should really be done every week if you have the time but it’s not been touched since we moved into the house last summer. We just used it as a dumping ground for anything that we didn’t have a place for.

In one corner, there is a collection of different sized paint tins. Some of these tins have followed me around for twenty years. Why I keep them I don’t know. They can’t be used for touching up because I wouldn’t know where I applied the paint in the first place. Maybe it’s to remind me of some of the disastrous colour combinations I have painted rooms in the past. I doubt any of them have any useable paint in them and I could probably use the skins as Frisbees. I hang onto them, mainly because I can’t find anywhere in Inishowen to take them to be recycled.

JUST HANGING AROUND

The tins do remind me of a saga when I was an early teenager. My friends and I were hanging out as usual on our local park. We had swings, a slide and something that was called a Bobbie’s helmet. This helmet was about eighteen feet tall and looked a bit like the galvanised steel Christmas tree that is permanently set up on the way to Quigley’s point. The whole thing, unlike the Christmas tree, moved around from a central point very erratically and quickly which usually resulted in squashing children between the pole and seating area - life before health and safety was never boring.

All of the playthings were very dull and sombre, being painted in a very boring dark green colour, which was probably left over from a job lot after the Second World War. The old paint was peeling off in places and the rust was showing through. “Why don’t we brighten them up?” a friend of mine suggested. We all thought this was a great idea. Our gang (about 10 youths) went off home having made arrangements to sneak out of our houses and come back at three in the morning armed with whatever old paint and brushes we could find. The fact that we had picked such an early hour for our ‘community service’ shows we knew we weren’t just being selfless.

BRINGERS OF JOY AND COLOUR

Sneaking out of the house was easy for me as I lived in a bungalow and only had to open the window and climb out. We all met up at the Bobbie’s helmet, wearing dark clothing and clutching our spoils and silently set about brightening up our world.

We worked hard, and, I must say, very thoroughly until the dawn broke.

“Wow!” we all said as we stepped back to admire our handywork. It looked fantastic. We are all used to bright children’s play areas now, as plastic is the order of the day, but in the 1970’s we were ahead of the game here with our psychedelic activity centre.

We were so happy. In a couple of days the gloss paint we had used will be dry and all of the children in the area will hail us as bringers of joy to a dull adult world. Cleaning ourselves up thoroughly with white spirit to get rid of the evidence, we went home happy and still managed to get up for school as though nothing had happened, although we did smell a bit of thinners.

ALL IS WELL
All was well until the following evening when I got home from school “Parents really ought to keep a closer eye on what their children get up to in the evenings.” My mother was looking at the front page of the local paper. I looked over her shoulder to see a photo of a young boy of about five looking very sad, covered in bright coloured paint standing next to our groovy Bobbies helmet. The caption was “Vandals ruin the community park play area.” I shrugged my shoulders, did a bit of tut tutting and agreed wholeheartedly with my mother. In reality though I was devastated, we were doing a public service after all were we not?

A meeting of the gang was in order “What will we do now?” I asked. “ Why don’t we go back and re- paint everything in one colour, that way everyone will be happy,” a friend suggested and not having much sense, we all agreed it would be the best course of action. “Great idea, who’s got loads of paint all of the same colour?” someone asked. “I do.” I said, putting my hand up (still thinking I was at school). “My dad hoards things like that and I can get gallons of dark blue gloss that has been in the garage for years.” We would be heroes this time.

BLUE MOON
We met again by moonlight the following weekend. I had raided our garage and managed to sneak out a couple of gallons of the blue paint, complete with 10 fresh paintbrushes (my dad hoarded those too). In silence we prised the lids off of the paint, gave them a stir and starting with the Bobbie’s helmet, we worked for hours painstakingly covering over our happiness, turning the once colourful world a shade nearly as dull as the original one. The injustice of it all. One day the world will realise we were right the first time, bright is best………

There was never a mention on the local paper of our efforts to put things right by meticulously repainting everything, (very well, we thought), a dark blue colour and also never a mention about the fact that our house, next to the park, was exactly the same shade of dark blue …..

Now where was I?…..

IN THE VEGGIE PATCH

FRESH START
We’re outside creating yet another vegetable garden. It’s the third one in as many years and its house moving that has forced us, or should I say, given us the opportunity…. to start again from scratch. I am certainly not complaining, as I find the design and preparation just as rewarding as watching the veggies grow and mature.

There are so many signs of life outside and it is a real pleasure to be out of the house and away from the computer. Snowdrops are out, pussy willow (salix) is in full dangle mode and daffodils are nearly out. So as the ground has dried off after the snow and temperatures have risen, there is no better time to get the old boots off the rack and head into the garden for a bit of muscle toning.

CHOOSING A SITE
We have chosen an area on three levels near to the house that faces a southwesterly position, so gets the sun for a good part of the day. It’s not a really large area but it is well drained and will give us enough room to build about six good-sized growing spots. This is the start we need in our quest for self sufficiency (well a few spuds and some veg in season to start with).

HIDDEN TREASURES
One of my lads is getting some archaeological digging done as we have unearthed some old crockery and he is having great fun trying to put it all together like a jigsaw. It’s probably only an old plate thrown out when the ashes went out, but it’s still an enjoyable pursuit. One of the fragments says, “will do” which on it’s own is a very pleasing affirmation.

DIGGING…. ON THE DOUBLE
We do also seem to be unearthing a lot of broken glass, so I am happier getting this removed before the lads come in to help. I am not going to be putting all raised beds in like I normally do. I can’t be doing with all of the shifting of horse muck and sea weed for the moment, it’s enough me getting the muscles working going up the patio steps after a winter of hibernating, let alone building up raised beds, so I am opting for something I never thought I would do again, double digging.

Double digging entails a square of grass and soil being dug up to create a trench the width of the bed. This is removed and taken to the end of the bed and in doing so, leaves a trench. Into this, we pile lots of leaf mould, old compost from the compost bin and the shredding we have accumulated over the last few weeks. We then cover up the newly added material by digging another trench and putting this soil on the top.

It appears to be a bit more labour intensive but it is giving us a great seed bed and everything is to hand, which is saving me having to scour Inishowen looking for horse muck.

STAGGERING AROUND
We do have a couple of areas set aside for raised beds and I am going to take John Reilly’s (Culdaff organic vegetable grower) advice when it comes to growing spuds. All I need is a little bit of soil in the bed. Plant the spuds into this soil and when the top growth comes up, add more compost and soil to ridge them up. This will be done at regular intervals over the growing period, which will stagger the need for moving large quantities of bulky matter to fill them up. The crops are far larger for the potato plants too and the yields should feed us well into the summer. We should have these beds ready in no time, which will give plenty of opportunity to get a fresh supply of seeds ready for sowing very soon.

IN THE VEGGIE PATCH

Let us have a look at other jobs we can be getting on with in the vegetable patch:

Collect plastic bottles and make bottle cloches. These mini greenhouses will protect your fresh plants from any adverse weather conditions, and keep the pesky slugs away.

Buy plant labels, as I know only too well that if they are not to hand you will forget what you have planted in the trays. Buy any string and pots you will need whilst you are in the shop.

Check fleece, netting and other crop covers for holes and buy more if they are in tatters.

Scrub old seed trays, modules and pots with hot soapy water and let them dry off before you use them. This will save the compost sticking to the trays.

Buy seed potatoes of early varieties now and place in trays with their sprouting ends uppermost. Keep in a cool but light spot for the shoots to develop, ready for planting out after St Patrick’s Day.

Rhubarb plants can be “forced” now (put a bucket on top of them) to produce crop of delicious, slim, pale pink stems.

Start to dig in over wintered green manures such as grazing rye and winter tares.

If unlike us, you have a mature vegetable garden, you can “top dress” (chuck on old compost, chicken manure pellets or well rotted manure) over wintered crops, such as autumn planted onions, broad beans and spring cabbage, to give spring growth a boost.

If you have a compost trench, continue to add raw vegetable kitchen waste to it and cover it over to keep the dogs off. This will make a great bed for the peas and beans later.

Like our new vegetable patch, these tips only just scratching the surface of jobs to do in the veggie garden this month…what a joy….

DEALING WITH SNOW

Sometimes you have to stretch yourself and make an effort in the bad weather.

IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH…..
Either my memory is failing or I am imagining things, but there was a lot more snow around when I was a lad. We would go for weeks without a thaw and live in a roughly made igloo in the garden for what seemed like weeks in between skating on ice that was a foot thick and walking over the three-foot snow drifts to school. It’s not been like that for years though and we usually have to content ourselves with a light fall of snow and then a couple of hours of really wet mush until it finally disappears.

This year has been different though and the global warming critics have had a field day. It doesn’t take much snow or ice to put the whole county on a standstill and this year especially, the council appear to be getting through their stockpile of car bodywork rotting grit to put on the roads.

ALASKAN DREAM
I used to dream of living in Alaska, that fabulous country that can cope with even the deepest snowfalls and was sold to America for 2 cents an acre in 1874 (those were the days..). It has long periods of minimal light and months of snow, which sounds a bit depressing, but when I was up to my neck in gardening work, the thought of darkness or a thick covering snow covering plants would be a great way to sit back and do nothing for a while…. If you couldn’t see the greenery it wouldn’t need any work doing to it… Knowing me though I would be out with a snowplough as I am not very good at sitting still.

I love the way that the world turns into monochrome when the snow falls, it’s like looking at a negative of a photograph, and children love it too because it totally eradicates the adult world. Everything is on go-slow and people join together in unity to fight off the common evil that is snow. And all the time the children are throwing snowballs at anything that moves, or stays still long enough to be snowballed.

As pretty as a good snowfall is, covering plants with snow for long periods can cause a few problems. The main issue that the plants have had in our garden is the makeshift sledges (surfboards and bin liner bags) that have been running over the emerging daffodil tips and some ground cover plants. They will pick themselves up in no time though and in the wild they would have had animals treading on them anyway, so they are well used to it.

INSULATOR
Snow is actually a good insulator (as many Inuit people will know as they huddle in their igloos on fishing expeditions on the frozen lakes) and a good snowfall will also protect your plants from the ravages of a hard frost. Frost, can cause the water in plant cells to freeze, damaging the cell walls. Frost problems are often made worse where plants face the morning sun, as this causes them to defrost quickly, rupturing their cell walls.

PROTECTION PLAN
There are a few things you can do to protect your plants from the cold without having to go out and put potato sacking over your yucca’s.

Leave the old growth of tender plants unpruned over the winter months. This will help to protect the central crown of the plant and take the brunt of any frost damage. The plants look fabulous with frost and snow on them too.
Golden or variegated plant varieties are usually quite tender so avoid planting those in a frost pocket.
Choose plants that are reliably hardy in Inishowen, the nursery staff will tell you what’s good.
High-nitrogen fertilisers encourage plants to make lots of soft leafy growth so avoid those early and late in the year.
Plants with tender flower buds or shoots will do better if they are not planted on east-facing sites.


Dealing with snow in the garden
Even though snow is a good insulator, a heavy layer of it can also cause leaves and branches to break. It might be a bit late now, but it’s a good idea to be prepared for the next time it comes.
· Walking on snow-covered grass will damage the turf beneath and leave unsightly marks on the lawn, so use the paths to be safe…. try telling that to the kids….
· The snow cover could encourage the growth of fungal diseases, which thrive in the cool damp conditions, so keep a watchful eye on the condition of the lawn as things warm up.
· Shake excess snow from the branches of large trees, shrubs and hedges, to prevent them from becoming disfigured by the weight, get the kids to do it, as it’s great fun.
Remove heavy deposits of snow from the roofs of greenhouses or cold frames to let in the light and prevent the structures from bending under the weight.



Protect your evergreen plants in the cold spells by applying a thick layer of mulch around their bases to keep the soil frost-free. This will allow them to take up moisture during periods of cold weather and stop them from becoming dehydrated. I think that’s enough of me telling you what to do in the garden. If the snow comes again, get your gloves on and join the kids in their world, throw some snowballs…..