I am sitting, sweating on a large rock at the bottom of the garden, covered in grazes from brambles, being attacked by wasps and dopey flies. I have on two pairs of gloves, leather traps (shin guards usually worn by jockeys), safety goggles and a pair of earmuffs that cut out all sound barring my racing pulse. It didn’t say anything about this in the instruction manual for my latest toy.
I had been considering buying a chainsaw for months, especially as I usually cut branches with a bow saw. It’s far too labour intensive and I thought a bit of external power was needed. After extensive research, (checking the catalogue shops on the internet), I decided to get a top of the range, 4 litre turbo Black and Decker with auto this and safety that, which was packed in a very pretty box that masked the seriousness of the piece of equipment that lay inside.
It came, like these things do, in quite a few pieces, with instructions on the assembly in fourteen languages. It wasn’t that difficult though as there were pictures to follow. You tighten a bolt here and put lubricating oil in there and I had it set up in no time without any bits left over that I could see. Then I thought it would be a clever idea to read the instructions (or RTFM as my lad says if I ask him a technical question). Well I can honestly say it scared the begeezus out of me. Lots of images of something called kick back warned me that if the blade was angled incorrectly it would fly up and…. well, thankfully the pictures were not in colour. It was this that prompted me to put the pristine piece of machinery back in the garage and leave it for a few weeks until I plucked up enough courage to pull on the rip cord and start the angry beast up.
DIZZY HEIGHTS
I have to be careful about how I phrase this next bit. I daren’t describe how I have been “playing with the new chainsaw” because I don’t want another stream of health and safety warriors to descend on me from across the globe. In this article last week (which also goes out on the internet), I happened to mention that I ate a sweet crinodendron seed at a family party last week. I was inundated with remarks about how irresponsible I was and should be lynched for my disregard for common sense. Still it’s not surprising when you read that there is a new law out where you need a qualification to climb a ladder. One Council in England have had to abandon their speed cameras because there are not enough qualified people to leave the ground anymore to put them on top of poles along the road. It’s not all bad news then….
TRAINING
Anyway, I digress. I have just had a happy hour practising cutting the wood and I am getting into the swing of it. The spikes on the front of the machine appear to keep the kickback at bay and my confidence level is increasing. Cutting logs for the fire is still heavy work and although the chain is cutting through them like butter, I still have to lift the chainsaw up and steer it in the direction of the wood. I will also have to carry the small logs back to a dry place to store for the winter but that can wait for a time when I am not being pestered by wasps and horse flies (I think the horse traps are attracting them).
It is important to have training with any mechanical equipment though, as (without wanting to sound like a Health and Safety Officer) they are all dangerous. Strimmers, mowers, chainsaws and even non motorised tools like shears, spades and rakes are all potential hazards, but surely I don’t have to tell you that (unless you are four then ask your parents to show you how to use them properly)
So I have overcome my fear and if I can find enough wood to cut, we should be warm and cosy this winter without having to spend too much money on coal and oil. I have managed to pile up enough wood to last a week in the last hour and a half, so it’s a pretty good use of my time.
As a wise old salt once told me “Wood is a great source of heating as it warms you twice. Once when you cut it and once when you burn it”. (Three times if you count carrying the logs up the hill….)
I had been considering buying a chainsaw for months, especially as I usually cut branches with a bow saw. It’s far too labour intensive and I thought a bit of external power was needed. After extensive research, (checking the catalogue shops on the internet), I decided to get a top of the range, 4 litre turbo Black and Decker with auto this and safety that, which was packed in a very pretty box that masked the seriousness of the piece of equipment that lay inside.
It came, like these things do, in quite a few pieces, with instructions on the assembly in fourteen languages. It wasn’t that difficult though as there were pictures to follow. You tighten a bolt here and put lubricating oil in there and I had it set up in no time without any bits left over that I could see. Then I thought it would be a clever idea to read the instructions (or RTFM as my lad says if I ask him a technical question). Well I can honestly say it scared the begeezus out of me. Lots of images of something called kick back warned me that if the blade was angled incorrectly it would fly up and…. well, thankfully the pictures were not in colour. It was this that prompted me to put the pristine piece of machinery back in the garage and leave it for a few weeks until I plucked up enough courage to pull on the rip cord and start the angry beast up.
DIZZY HEIGHTS
I have to be careful about how I phrase this next bit. I daren’t describe how I have been “playing with the new chainsaw” because I don’t want another stream of health and safety warriors to descend on me from across the globe. In this article last week (which also goes out on the internet), I happened to mention that I ate a sweet crinodendron seed at a family party last week. I was inundated with remarks about how irresponsible I was and should be lynched for my disregard for common sense. Still it’s not surprising when you read that there is a new law out where you need a qualification to climb a ladder. One Council in England have had to abandon their speed cameras because there are not enough qualified people to leave the ground anymore to put them on top of poles along the road. It’s not all bad news then….
TRAINING
Anyway, I digress. I have just had a happy hour practising cutting the wood and I am getting into the swing of it. The spikes on the front of the machine appear to keep the kickback at bay and my confidence level is increasing. Cutting logs for the fire is still heavy work and although the chain is cutting through them like butter, I still have to lift the chainsaw up and steer it in the direction of the wood. I will also have to carry the small logs back to a dry place to store for the winter but that can wait for a time when I am not being pestered by wasps and horse flies (I think the horse traps are attracting them).
It is important to have training with any mechanical equipment though, as (without wanting to sound like a Health and Safety Officer) they are all dangerous. Strimmers, mowers, chainsaws and even non motorised tools like shears, spades and rakes are all potential hazards, but surely I don’t have to tell you that (unless you are four then ask your parents to show you how to use them properly)
So I have overcome my fear and if I can find enough wood to cut, we should be warm and cosy this winter without having to spend too much money on coal and oil. I have managed to pile up enough wood to last a week in the last hour and a half, so it’s a pretty good use of my time.
As a wise old salt once told me “Wood is a great source of heating as it warms you twice. Once when you cut it and once when you burn it”. (Three times if you count carrying the logs up the hill….)
