Why take 1 cutting when you can take 1000?
I’ve spent the best part of this year trailing mud into the
house.
It’s just a bit too much trouble to untie my boot laces when I come in
from a bit of gardening work, so I don’t generally bother. I do have a bit of
an end of the day run round with a cloth to clean the white floor tiles we have
(Why on earth did we buy white bathroom tiles?) so I can start a new day clean
and fresh. I also always wear a shopkeepers coat now. If you’ve ever seen
episodes of ‘Open all Hours’ you’ll know the style of it. I actually wear it to
the shops now too as I think it makes me look like I’m busy in the same way
people walk around workplaces with a sheet of A4 paper in their hand to look
like they are doing something or going somewhere. Most people think I am a
mechanic in our local shop. I have the coat on permanently and always have
muddy boots but what else can turn us into local gardening characters?
Maybe
there are certain traits we should be looking out for to see if we are going
garden crazy.
You know you are
garden crazy when you…
Feel uncomfortable in some-one else's house if there's a
badly placed houseplant and desperately resist the urge to move it to a more
suitable spot.
Find it difficult resisting dead-heading in some-one else's
garden.
Buy weak straggly, reduced price plants because you think
you can bring them back to life but generally end up in the compost bin – which
is OK as it’ll feed other plants.
Read the labels on plants at the garden centre and disagree
with what it says as well as not having enough information on the label for
people not as knowledgeable as you.
Look at neglected gardens as a challenge.
Name your children and pets after flowers.
Think £50 is a lot of money for a pair of trousers, but a
great price for a particularly wonderful plant.
Can give local directions based on particularly fine hedges
and specimen trees as landmarks without mentioning roads, post offices or pubs.
Stop talking mid-sentence when you see a plant you don't
recognize.
Wake up in the middle of a cold night and wonder if you
should go out and cover your succulents and tender perennials.
Water other people's plants when out for a walk from your
own water bottle if they look thirsty.
Only watch football matches on the TV to assess the pitch
quality and percentage of artificial grass added.
Taking cuttings from peoples gardens
Always have a pair of secateurs in your pocket in case you
see overhanging plant hazards.
Have a mountain of plastic pots and sheeting squirrelled
away as it’ll always come in useful.
Give courgettes to friends and co-workers (and sometimes the
postie)
Proudly show your compost pile to visitors.
Have more pictures of your plants than your
children/grandchildren.
Are pleased when some nettles grow in your garden because
they're great for the compost heap, and they show that the soil is rich in that
area.
Forever trying to give away plants to friends and neighbours
because you propagated far too many. Why take one cutting when you can take
100?
Feel that seed catalogues are one the year's most anticipated
thing posted through your letterbox and you have the bookmark tab full of links
to online catalogues.
Garden looks better than your house.
There is no item of footwear you own that hasn't at some
time had soil on them and all your clothes are gardening clothes.
Car has so much soil on the carpet you could germinate seeds
in it.
Ensure every annual holiday has a nursery and /or botanic
garden included.
Find that most people share all their plant problems with
you.
Have plants in pots at the back door waiting to be added to
your garden at some stage when you have either the time or room.
Spend a lot of your free time just watching your garden
grow.
