Lazivore - Gardening Without Effort - Easier than concreting everything

 Planters on concrete can be more work than a lawn

I like home grown veggies and work smart without much effort to get it. I’m not alone and someone has now come up with a name for gardening without effort, Sami Grover coined the word ‘Lazivore’ which is a variation on the similar word "locavore" which  relates to a person whose diet consists only or principally of locally grown or produced food. 

Locavore proved so popular that it was unveiled as the 2007 Word of the Year at the Oxford University Press. I’m not sure Lazivore will get the same accolade but that doesn’t matter, most Lazivores wouldn’t be bothered with that sort of thing.

For years if anyone asked me what was the best way to get a stress free low maintenance garden I would smile and say “Concrete it” I found it amusing for a while but came to the conclusion being so glib wasn’t helpful as concrete also needs looking after occasionally. Things get more time consuming if you have containers placed on a concrete yard, this can be more labour intensive than a lawn to look after in summer. There are also the environmental aspects to consider such as wildlife and water run off so I don’t recommend concrete anymore.

But what can we do?  A ‘No Maintenance’ garden doesn’t really exist so as long as we are aware of that we have a base line to start. There will always be something to do even in the best planned garden, but with a bit of thought we can keep the work to a minimum. There’s really quite a short window of time in life where we can give all of our time and energy to the garden. 

If you look at stages in life you’ll see what I mean

• When you are working
• When raising a family
• Gardening in older age
• Gardening with a disability
• When new to gardening or not interested
• When renting or renting out a property with a garden
• For non-gardeners who have to look after a garden

Most of those examples highlight the fact that gardening is either fitted in in-between other activities or ignored all together, which would be OK if you were living in an upstairs flat.

Keep it Simple

Use large containers for planting as they won’t dry out as quickly. Small ones require a lot of attention in summer.

Keep tender plants to a minimum. These require seasonal tasks such as lifting, winter wrapping, moving to a protected environment or annual propagation. Instead, look for plants that are deemed fully hardy which can be left outdoors year round.

Bedding plants and temporary plantings are very pretty but hard work. Moving away from bedding to borders with permanent plantings would help eliminate this dependency. Wildflower annuals are an easier option and will look after themselves

Choose the right plant for the right place. Don’t insist on growing rhododendrons on a chalky soil, or bog plants in a windswept dry garden.

Buying large specimen plants and trees may seem like a quick route to an instant garden but aftercare can be more time consuming. Younger plants will often establish in half the time and require less attention to watering and staking

Choose slower growing hedging plants such as box (buxus) yew (Taxus baccata) or holly (Ilex aquifolium) when planting or replacing hedges.

Be relaxed about the lawn. Cutting down on weeding, feeding and moss control will give the lawn a visual patchwork but will often stay greener for longer when stressed by drought or waterlogging. It is also more likely to support a greater variety of wildlife as well.

Borders and weed control

Replace some perennials with slow growing shrubs, planting through a membrane.  Overlay this with attractive mulch such as bark or gravel and it may be several seasons before weeding or topping up of the mulch is required.

Most new weeds growing now won’t be too much of a threat to the vegetable patch or borders as the plants you have are big enough to look after themselves. Pull out the larger ones and for the smaller ones invest in a Dutch hoe. You won’t even need to bend down! The dry weather and heat will dry any chopped seedlings as they sit on the soil.

If you fail- give up. Only grow what thrives and needs no looking after. Choosing plants that fend for them will reduce the need for you to intervene which will give you more time to cover other important issues in your life. Mine at the moment is napping on my sun lounger.

History and Folklore of Yew Trees

A mature yew tree in a cemetery

A good few years ago was having a lot of trouble opening a jar of pickled gherkins. My wrist was sore and try as I might I just couldn’t get the traction on the lid to screw it off. A wise old salt came by and told me a technique which they claimed never failed. 

I’ll share it with you now.

First stand upright with legs slightly apart. Imagine you are an oak tree and your roots are penetrating the ground and collecting energy from the earth. Channel that energy into your muscles and hold it there for a second. This burst of natural energy emanating from the limbs will give you the strength to twist off the lid the very little effort as natural forces are doing the hard work.

It’s stood me in good stead over the years but I have found a better way – even better than stabbing the lid with a fork. Simply use a bottle opener to release the pressure of the lid until the safety seal pops. The lid will come of so easily. I now find this is much quicker and doesn’t entail me having to summon energy from the earth’s crust and bothering Mother Nature.

Yew Trees

The wise old salt who suggested the jar opening method wasn’t the first person to summon the earth’s energy for their own benefit. Centuries ago Druids planted yew trees in pagan temple sites and burial grounds as they felt the trees were really good at absorbing the energy of their dead and linked it to immortality. 

 

The Druids regarded yew as sacred and planted it close to their temples. As early Christians often built their churches on these consecrated sites, the association of yew trees with churchyards was perpetuated. The Christians felt the trees were “a holy symbol” because the heartwood is red and the sapwood is white symbolizing the body and blood of Christ. 

I’ll add here that there are no real facts about yew trees in cemeteries, most of the research is inconclusive. This is great for me because I can just make things up.

It does make sense to have the trees as a windbreak to protect the buildings. In 1307 King Edward I ordered yew trees to be planted in churchyards to protect churches from gale damage. Robert Turner, writing in 1644, suggested that yew absorbed the vapours produced by putrefaction. They were also said to ward off evil spirits, which might refer to masking the ‘evil’ smells more than the spirits.

We do know that yew trees can live for over 1000 years and some have even been found to live 5000 years. Most older trees are sole survivors of medieval villages. 

Yews were usually planted in twos, one at the lych-gate, the funeral entrance to the churchyard, and the other near the church door. Today, two lines of trimmed Irish yews sometimes mark this pathway, with additional yews planted next to raised tombs or graves.

Yew trees were sometimes planted in acts of sanctification, close to where people eventually hoped to be laid to rest.  

There are other theories. 

The wood was used to make longbows and keeping the trees protected in an enclosed cemetery kept the branches away from livestock which could damage the trunks causing them to be unsuitable for the bows as they would be gnarled and twisted. Maybe the trees were kept away from the livestock as all but the red seed coating of the tree is poisonous. 

The theory about making bows falls a bit flat when you think how many trees were needed to make the millions of bows needed for armies. It’s more likely the wood for these was imported from Europe to cope with the demands. Woodland tree management would have been far more precise and labour intensive compared to today and the trees would have had their side branches removed to keep the trunks strong and straight. 

Value to wildlife

Regardless of the trees fables and legends they are valuable to wildlife. Yew made into hedges in particular is incredibly dense, offering protection and nesting opportunities for many birds. The tiny goldcrest and firecrest nest in broadleaf woodland with a yew understorey.  The fruit is eaten by birds such as the blackbird, thrush and fieldfare, and small mammals such as squirrels and dormice. The leaves are eaten by caterpillars of the satin beauty moth and they are a haven for spiders.

Lithops

I’ve a new project on the go this week. I have decided to grow some lithops. 

Lithops is a genus of prehistoric succulent plants originating in southern Africa. The name is derived from the Ancient Greek words ‘lithos’, meaning "stone," and ‘ops’, meaning "face," referring to the stone-like appearance of the plants. They only get to 1” in height and will live for 40 to 50 years, happily staying in the same pot for 10-15 years with very little watering so make a great slow growing novelty houseplant.

Their camouflage is really effective and over millions of years natural selection has allowed the plants to mimic their surrounding environment perfectly making them indistinguishable from a stone at first glance. This protects them from being eaten.  The leaves of Lithops are mostly buried below the surface of the soil, with a partially or completely translucent top surface known as a leaf window which allows light to enter the interior of the leaves for photosynthesis.

Individual Lithops plants consist of just one or more pairs of bulbous leaves opposite to each other and hardly any stem. The opening between the leaves contains the meristem and produces flowers and new leaves. 

The plants were first recorded in 1811by botanist John Burchell who accidentally found a specimen when picking up stones from the ground and called it a "curiously shaped pebble”. In the 1950s, Desmond and Naureen Cole began to study Lithops. They eventually visited nearly all habitat populations and collected samples from approximately 400, identifying them with the Cole numbers which have been used ever since and distributing Cole numbered seed around the world.

New species continue to be discovered, sometimes in remote regions of Namibia and South Africa, and sometimes in well-populated areas where they simply had been overlooked – or trodden on for generations. 

Lithops Care

I have edged my bets as usual and gone for 100 mixed seeds and 12 two year old plants already formed and ready for putting in a pot. I have done a lot of research about the plants and care methods differ wildly depending on location. I’ve decided to use the pre grown ones as testers to find out for myself how to care for the seedlings which have already started to germinate.

Caring for lithops seems to differ from one country to the next and it all depends on light, soil and stone medium and watering cycle. The plants themselves appear to grow the same regardless of their location in the world. No watering is necessary when the plants shed their old leaves as the moisture from these goes to feed the plant as it dehydrates. Normal treatment in mild temperate climates is to keep them completely dry during winter. In hotter climates Lithops will have summer dormancy when they should be kept mostly dry, but I don’t think we need bother about that. If I do underwater the plants they will let me know as they become wrinkly, sometimes even disappearing totally underground.

Lithops in habitat almost never have more than one leaf pair per head, presumably as an adaptation to the arid environment. Yellow or white flowers emerge from between the leaves, usually in autumn. The flowers are often sweetly scented. 

Propagation

Lithops are usually grown from seed. I have planted mine in two small pots and they will take between one and two years growing undercover on a windowsill to be large enough to pot on, as I mentioned they have germinated but are about as small as a pin head. As I am a bit impatient the two year old pre grown specimens have been to put some into my new stoneware pots (I did make them for bonsai but they were too small) I’ve done a bit of ‘lithops landscaping’ too by adding some small granite stones to make it more of a feature.

 

Potting Mix

I have made a potting mix of mainly volcanic pumice grit, granite grit and a touch of soil for both the seeds and the mature plants. The only difference is a sprinkling of sand over the tiny seeds before covering with plastic to keep the moisture in. 

Lithops are non-toxic to humans and pets; in fact they can be a thirst quencher in the desert so are great for children to get into the pleasures of growing houseplants.

I’m sure growing and caring for lithops will be a big learning curve for me and as usual there might be a few casualties along the way.














UPDATE:
I planted the lithops quite deeply to start with. Over the last couple of weeks they seem to be finding their own levels and popping up a bit.

6 Week old seedlings:

Metaldehyde Slug Pellet Ban Overturned

I see slug pellets containing metaldehyde are staying on the market. I mentioned a few weeks ago they were to be off the retail shelves by early next year. The ban was overturned in the high court after a challenge from Chiltern Farm Chemicals who manufacture the product. 

As expected social media went into meltdown with a call to overturn the ruling, which probably won’t happen anytime soon. What isn’t really mentioned is that slug pellets are used in industrial agriculture in huge amounts and until the mono crop production of farming shifts the demand will be there and laws won’t change. 

The industry is trying to lower the amount of metaldehyde being used by reducing the size of the pellets and have cut down the dose rate from 210g/ha to 60g/ha, so they are taking a bit of action. The products also have something called Guardsman added which makes the pellets unpalatable to birds and mammals. I haven’t been able to find any research to see how precise this is and if mammals are harmed indirectly by eating poisoned slugs so can’t really comment about it’s effectiveness at the moment.

You might be aware of vegetables on the supermarket shelves being organic but there’s never any mention about slug deterrents being used. The drinking water Inspectorate is also ensuring metaldehyde doesn’t reach drinking water in agricultural use but isn’t monitored in the private garden. 

Farming is why the ruling has been overturned. Protests from home gardeners on social media doesn’t really have any clout at the moment, but that could change. 

We might seem powerless to alter what the huge industrial agricultural businesses are doing but we can make a change in our own gardens. If the use of metaldehyde slug pellets is an issue for you and you really don’t want to use them, use one of the many alternatives on the market, either shop bought or home-made. 

We’ve come a long way since gardeners such as Percy Thrower pushed a multitude of endorsed ICI chemical products on us to attack everything in the garden.  We now see our plots are a more balanced ecosystem where everything has a purpose. 

There isn’t a “good or bad” or “friend or foe” in the garden, it’s more to do with how we keep the garden healthy to overcome issues as and when they arise. 

By starting our own fruitful, strong, and diverse self-maintaining garden, which is more cost effective to run than a garden where chemicals are needed we might just quietly influence the change from monoculture as it becomes more expensive to be productive.

Ha Ha

Talking of bans and restrictions I can’t help but notice that right of ways and access to the countryside seems to be on the decline. Once open areas of our countryside are becoming closed off, even grassland on the perimeter of beaches are no go areas. Fences are going up and even in some extreme cases non-drying bitumen paint is put on gates. I know of one area near Neds Point where an access path to the beach, used for over a hundred years now has a six foot wall blocking access with cemented in broken glass along the top to deter (or injure) any ramblers. The large field adjoining it has also been dug up and furrowed to make access near impossible so it’s not about keeping livestock in, it’s about keeping people out. I appreciate the claim culture can install fear into landowners to block access but sometimes you think a small sign with ‘Persons walking do so at their own risk’ would suffice. 

There are ways to make areas secure (for livestock) without fences and visible signs of restrictions. I lived in a large house many moons ago where the garden had a Ha-Ha around the garden. Think of it as a moat but with no water in it and one side was at 45 degrees and grass. It’s a landscape design element that creates a vertical barrier while preserving an uninterrupted view of the landscape beyond. 

The name "ha-ha" is thought to have stemmed from the exclamations of surprise by those coming across them, as the walls were intentionally designed to be invisible, which is where the rub lies. Health and safety probably wouldn’t allow them now.

Before mechanical lawn mowers, a common way to keep large areas of grassland trimmed was to allow livestock, usually sheep, to graze the grass. A ha-ha prevented grazing animals on large estates from gaining access to the lawn and gardens adjoining the house, giving a continuous vista to create the impression that the garden and landscape were one and undivided. At least with a Ha-ha you would be given the illusion of access and freedom to roam without all of the barriers going up in the countryside.


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