Cleaning Paths

Our new puppy is looking rather cute at the moment. I suppose they have to have some endearing qualities so they are kept as pets and not given away to the dog pound. If Kenny (that’s what we have temporarily decided to call him) wasn’t looking at me with those sad eyes I would have probably shipped him off by now and been left with a clean kitchen floor that isn’t constantly wet. There were times when I wanted to rub his nose in it, but thankfully the good old internet was there to give me some good advice.

Toilet training should only take about a week and the pup needs to be praised for doing their business outside, not reprimanded for doing it on the front room carpet. It is yet again a case of me being trained as well as Kenny (or Kenneth as I like to call him much to the annoyance of the rest of the family). His mother, Chips, has taken to running out of the house in the morning and hiding in the woods, coming back covered in bramble thorns and gorse, only to eat and sleep. She keeps a distance from her offspring now as he has a fine set of sharp teeth which must make feeding a bit of a painful procedure. Her chair is still too high for Kenneth to jump onto so Chips just stares at him dismissingly as he tries to get to her. Parenthood, isn’t it wonderful?
I read that a puppy needs to be taken out every hour and told to do its business. I might as well use this time productively so instead of standing there saying “do a wee wee” (the websites suggestion, not mine,) I am finding outdoor jobs to do. This should keep all three of us happy. I can release my frustrations by doing a bit of manual work, Chips can hide in the gorse and Kenneth can frolic around and eat fallen leaves.

Clearing Pathways

The autumn leaves are looking particularly beautiful at the moment, we have a few really bright varieties of acers that go scarlet in colour before falling, and we have a sorbus and a birch tree to add to the rainbow of colours. I’m outside to clear the path of leaves in the front garden today and notice that the path needs other work to make it safe for the winter. I have three jobs to do (four if you count keeping an eye on the puppy)

1. Clear the path of weeds
2. Clear the steps leading up to the path
3. Wash the path down to stop it from becoming slippery when wet.

Clear the path of weeds
 The path is crazy paving and over the year annual and perennial weeds have grown in the cracks. I’m not as organised as the bloke working on the Credit Union grounds in Buncrana. He has a stick with a nail on the end and he scrapes out all of the dirt and weeds from the path cracks. I’m not so exacting with the weeds on my path and jut hack the tops off with a spade. I’m careful to make sure that Kenneth is preoccupied chewing on a cotoneaster stump before commencing. I also clear the edges of the path where the grass is beginning to encroach into the crazy paving.

Clear the steps leading up to the path
Whoever washes the dishes at the kitchen sink looks up the path through the window and I couldn’t help but notice that groundcover plants are covering most of the four steps leading to the path. I used the excuse that I liked the plants cascading over the rockery stones for a year or two now, but they are full of creeping buttercup, clover, couch grass, London pride and ivy. Chances are that it was just supposed to be London pride growing over onto the path but everything else has been mixed up in it over the years. I wouldn’t be bothered to pick the weeds from the mess so I pull everything back off of the steps back to the rockery stones, the clumps came up easily, even with a young puppy behind me hanging from my jumper. It’s amazing how wide the path is now that the clumps have gone. I am now in a position to allow only the plants that I want to grow onto the steps without having to do any weeding.

Wash the path down
I’m just using soapy water and a stiff brush with a dog on the end for this. I don’t want, or need to use any harsh chemicals for this, especially with soft paws running about. The stones can get really slippery when algae grows on it so it really needs doing once or twice a year, -even more if the pathways are in a lot of shade. It only takes a few weeks for the paths to be dangerous.

I have a couple of wheelbarrow loads of weeds from the path and as I empty the contents onto the compost heap I look at Kenneth and find myself saying. “Time to go back inside. Do a wee wee”.
Did I really just say that?

Halloween 10

Any excuse

I’ve managed to find yet another excuse for having the garden in a state of disarray. This week I usually use the fact that it’s a school holiday to not sweep the leaves, but it’s also Halloween at the weekend so I have a few plans up my torn zombie sleeve. The ghouls and ghosts will be calling at the door demanding treats with the threat of a trick if I don’t comply. This year it’s retaliation time.

Turning the tables

The first thing to do is to keep the leaves and pile them up around the doorway (if the wind hasn’t already done it for you. Then prop some dead tree branches onto the walls. Fake cobwebs can be cast over these for added effect and a spooky face can be stuck to the door, dripping with blood. If I can be bothered I might get some fake tombstones and paper bags with LED lights in them to dimly light up the driveway.
The scariest thing that you could do to frighten the children witless when they come knocking at the door is to offer them something that isn’t filled with sugar when they hold out their expectant hands waiting for the ‘treat’. I have a simple recipe for severed eyeballs that should frighten the living daylights out of them, solely due to the fact that the main ingredients are fresh vegetables, namely cucumbers, carrots and black olives. There is a dollop of cream cheese to stick everything together in there too. They will look sweet and tempting under creepy low lighting and should get a reaction when they are put into the excited child’s mouth. If I am feeling generous I could always make up some bloody worms made from thinly sliced hotdog sausages, but where would the fun be in that for me, they would probably enjoy those? I could always try and fashion dog poo shapes by mixing weetabix and water together and leaving them on the driveway. Actually, as an afterthought, only make things you are happy to clean up off windows in the morning. Even fruit can be a bit messy.

Pumpkin fun

There are creepy things that could be made with pumpkins too. We grew some deep orange coloured ones this year for hollowing out, but unfortunately we ate all of the regular shaped ones. All we have left are a few very irregular looking ones that look as though they have been deflated and are too small to hollow out. I think the main problem this year was that we didn’t nip off the growing shoot of the plants. They produced lots of small specimen pumpkins instead of a few large ones that would have been suitable for the seasonal purpose of carving. The resulting plant growth of the pumpkin plants has made its way up the decking steps and towards the house, which I suppose is creepy enough in itself. All is not lost though, we’ve taken to dressing one of the small pumpkins up with an ‘Anonymous’ mask (It’s an image of Guy Fawkes from the film V for Vendetta. If you don’t know Anonymous ask your computer savvy teenagers who they are) and a trilby hat. It looks very dapper, but scary it isn’t.

Here’s a tip for you if you don’t fancy illuminating your pumpkin. Smear petroleum jelly around the hollowed out inside, this stops it from drying out. Instead of putting the candles inside, pop in a potted carex grass, leaving the long fine leaves to cascade from the top. It looks great in the daylight, just like real hair. There are other plants you could pot up; chrysanthemums are in full bloom at this time of year. For an instant display of colour try putting cuttings from berried twigs like pyracantha into jars. Holly is bursting with berries this year; sprigs of these would look great coming out of the pumpkin head. Scatter colourful leaves around the pumpkin base for added effect.

If my trip into Derry was anything to go by recently, this Halloween is promising to be one of the grandest yet. Every other shop seems to be selling Halloween costumes and accessories; it’s keeping their economy going. With just a bit of effort and a few chopped pieces of vegetables we can give the door knocking kids a night to remember without spending a fortune. And being realistic, I’m probably scary enough to most young children without having to put on a mask.

Out of Room

Digging in the dirt

We ran out of room in the veggie patch this year. I’m not sure why really as we more or less grew the same things as the previous years. Maybe it was the extra large pumpkins that took up the room, or the weeds. Whatever the reason for the lack of space, I have decided to expand.
Acting impulsively I sift through this week’s edition of the Dealer to see who is selling topsoil, a vital commodity in my expansion plans as we really don’t have a surplus in our own garden. The collapse of the building industry in this recession has caused a huge rise in the price of topsoil. At the height of the boom all you had to do was to flag down a passing tractor and trailer carrying a load and they would drop it off at the house for nothing. Good quality topsoil now appears to be trading on the world markets alongside gold. The price seems to be around 150-200 euro per 20 tonne so if you can get a good quality load free of stones and couch grass, it’s not too bad. I opt for the most local supplier just down the road from us and prepare a space for the delivery.

A load of sheeting

As I am attempting to do this on a budget I manage to scrounge some black plastic sheeting to put on the ground. The load arrives; the sheeting on the ground soon gets covered, and more of the ground besides. The resulting pile also manages to block out the sun. It’s big, very big.
I’m very pleased with the soil. It’s got a good mix of silt, sand, clay and small stones. The field that it came from had been well limed and regularly top dressed with sand and manured on an annual basis. I pay the money to the friendly farmer. I spend the next thirty minutes just standing and looking at the giant heap, wondering what I have let myself in for.

On a budget

Again, because I am trying to do this on a budget, I have managed to get some used coal bags to put the soil into for easy storage and to move it to the new raised beds when they are in place. After covering most of the pile with more plastic to keep the weeds from germinating, I set about shovelling the soil into the bags. I soon realise that, although the soil is very loose and top notch, it does have more stones in it that I first thought. It also has old roots and couch grass. It will be grand for the subsoil at the base of the raised beds but not really fine enough for the surface. I don’t like rummaging through stones in the veggie patch and carrots certainly don’t like them so a cunning plant is needed. It’s time to be inventive. When I worked for the council I was once given the job of sieving 70 tonnes of soil, it needed to be fine enough for a top dressing on the bowling greens. I remember the giant sieve I used, so I need to replicate one of those.

Making a soil sieve

I pop to the Co-op to see what they have in stock. I was thinking of getting wire mesh with holes about 1” square, but after looking at it I realise that size would be too big for the job and let too many stones in. They have some strong metal mesh that has holes to about half an inch but it is too heavy for the job, it’s made to clean sheep’s hooves as they walk over it. I have about given up when I come across some fine mesh used for strengthening concrete. It’s just what I need and only costs 5 euro for a sheet 2’6” wide by 8’ long. My budget can stretch to that.
The first thing I do is divide the mesh in two, so I am left with a sheet only 4’ in length and one spare piece of the same size. I then sandwich one of the sheets in between lengths of 2”x1” planks of wood and screw them tightly together, which holds the mesh in place. The finished product is sturdy and sits well leant up against the wheel barrow at a 45 degree angle. When I shovel the soil onto the mesh, the stones fall to the ground in front of me and the sieved soil goes through and makes a neat pile that resembles finely sifted flour.
A resounding success I think. Now as I am the ideas man, all I need is for someone to do all of the hard work for me. Any volunteers?

Autumn

The Autumn Garden

I was wandering around a local DIY shop this week having a look to see what new innovations have appeared recently. I’m always amazed at the ingenuity of people when it comes to making our lives that little bit easier in the garden. Of course a majority of things are pointless or you could make your own, and probably already do, for less. Recycled rubber on the other hand might be a bit fiddly to produce as you would need a shredder a little bit bigger than the ones used for chopping your twigs into compostable bits. Or would you? Maybe I can dig out some old car mats and have a go at creating some rubber mulch. I notice one company have formed their old tyre shreds into large circles with a hole in the centre and a slit through one half of the diameter. The shredded rubber has been glued together and then painted green and can be used as a permanent weed block mulching mat around your trees in the garden. They would be quite helpful for me as I tend to get a bit too close to the bark with my strimmer, so I just leave the couch grass to grow in an untidy manner around the stump. It’s amazing how easily a young tree can be killed with over zealous strimming.

Astro turf decking

Another new twist on an old product is decking planks inlaid with green astro turf. You can now have your decking to look like a lawn. I laid a few of them out in the shop to see the results and I was quite impressed (you are talking to someone right at the end of the grass cutting season though, ask me again in spring and I’ll tell you something totally different). What they would look like after a few years though after the sun has been on them I wouldn’t like to guess. Maybe they are not quite as long lived as the planks on their own.

No gadgets, just simple gardening

Novelties and new inventions aside, there are always loads of traditional gadget free things to be getting on with in the autumn garden.

• If you are like me and wear gloves most of the time it might be a good idea to get them washed and dried. They tend to get dirty at this time of year. If any of them have holes or tears, throw them into the compost bin. Many a cut finger comes from thinking the protection is there when it isn’t
• Have a look at your potted plants outside. You might find it’s time to redirect some of them to the compost heap. Any long lived perennials or shrubs could be repotted. The garden centres are stocking their winter pansies now if you need to replace anything.
• Trim back any ornamental trees that are getting too big. They have a habit of growing when we’re not looking – suddenly they’re much bigger than we thought. Assess each tree to decide whether it’s shading other plants too much, blocking light to the lawn or spreading where it shouldn’t. Options include removing lower branches to raise the canopy, pruning some branches to thin out the canopy and even removing the tree altogether. Fertilise the trees with some slow acting bonemeal. If the tree is too big already get in the professional tree surgeons.
• It’s always a good time of year to make a compost bin. Summer gives us grass clippings and autumn gives us fallen leaves. If you want a simple method of composting fill up old dustbin liner bags with the leaves adding a pint or two of water, tie securely and put them in a safe place out of the way behind the shed. Next year they will have rotted down and can be added to the garden as a mulch or soil improver.
• Autumn is a great time to do some rearranging in the garden. The days might be cooler but the soil is still warm. Most evergreen shrubs and perennials, as well as strappy clumping plants, will transplant happily, but leave deciduous plants until they are bare later in the year. Try to keep the top of the root ball level with the soil when you replant, and water well, even if it’s raining. Seaweed liquid fertiliser is an excellent tonic for transplants.

More jobs in brief

• Take hardwood cuttings of deciduous shrubs, including forsythia, philadelphus and weigela.
• Plant clematis and secure to supports.
• Cut back rose bushes by about one-third to help them withstand winter winds. Use the prunings as hardwood cuttings.
• Divide and replant overcrowded clumps of tough-rooted perennials such as hostas and hardy geraniums.
• Continue to plant bulbs, such as Iris, daffodils and tulips, for early spring flowering.
• Lift dahlias as soon as the foliage starts to yellow, or after the first frost, and store tubers.
• Sow sweet peas in a sunny, sheltered site for early flowering.
• Plant out wallflowers, Campanula medium, forget-me-nots and bellis daisy plants for spring.
As you are doing some of the autumn clean up jobs, take a look around to see what areas can be improved upon next year. If your mind wanders further and you come up with inventive new ideas for making the gardener’s life a bit easier, let me know, maybe we can have our innovations on the garden centre shelves next year.