Delightful Destruction

Paul has gone back to the UK and left behind a trail of devastation in the woods at the bottom of the garden. At a glance it looks like someone has just driven a large earth mover through the trees in much the same way as they do through the rainforests. Well it looks like devastation on the surface, but in reality he’s actually doing the woodland (and me) a big, big favour (unlike work in the rainforests). He’s letting light onto the woodland floor, increasing wildlife numbers and providing large logs ready to chop for firewood.

Hazel

Hazel trees, his main target for the week in the woods, live a lot longer and are far more productive if hacked down every few years. Because of all of the hacking we have been left with three distinct sizes of hazel to work with.
• The large aforementioned trunks for burning.
• Smaller straight branches for making my pea and bean structures.
• And this year I am trying something new with the smaller branches and fine growing tips of the stems.
Generally I make the structures for the plants to grow up then fill in the gaps weaving jute string around the poles. This year I am interlacing the cut branches into the structure for the plants to cling onto. It will be easier to pick the vegetables through the soft stems and everything can be composted at the end of the growing season. There are no sharp edges to the twigs either as they are so young and fresh. Doing this seems to be keeping the dogs off of the beds, so it’s also a natural friendly dog deterrent too.
Benders
Because the hazel rods are so fresh we were able to bend them right over into a hoop to create the pea bed. The structures only need to be three feet high and bending them into shape like this makes them really rigid and void of any dangerous sharp points. If I can find a piece of polythene large enough I’m going to cover the bed and use it as a mini tunnel to get the season off to an early start.
All you need to build any climbing plant structures are:


• Long, straight hazel rods
• String
• A pair of loppers
• A pair of scissors for cutting the string (optional as you could use the loppers)

There’s really no hard and fast rule to making the structures. Have something near for the plants to grow up and tie the knot tight enough so the structure won’t fall down in the wind. Cut off any points that you might catch yourself on when harvesting. It’s usually a good idea to have the structures in place before you plant the vegetables, that way there’s no root disturbance.

Video

As well as the laborious work in the woods we did take a bit of time to become US film stars too. My lad loves to video things, and over the last few years he has built up a bit of a collection of short videos that have ended up on Youtube. He normally does something called “Let’s Play” which consists of playing a Gameboy game all the way through with a running commentary. All very entertaining, but he does take time out to film me in the garden when the sun shines.
We have made videos of yours truly working in a greenhouse, talking about slugs, servicing lawnmowers and taking semi hardwood cuttings. I’m far too embarrassed to watch them and it doesn’t help when I get messages typed up in the comments box that say “That was the most boring video I have ever watched” and “I have wasted 10 minutes of my life watching this.”
We make the videos a lot shorter now. My lad now edits them so a majority of the video plays on fast speed. This ensures that if I am doing something like building a raised bed, I can have it done in two minutes as opposed to the usual twenty, giving viewers their lives back.
Our video last week consisted of Paul talking about the carbon storing benefits of burning wood, biochar, which is the burning of charcoal which also locks in carbon and rockdust as an additive in soil that increases fertility. I then appear in the background of the film brandishing a chainsaw and chop down a dead oak branch, in fast forward. Oh, how we laughed.
We have been noticed though, as I mentioned. A woman in the US who hosts a local gardening programme wants to use the videos in her TV programme. All I can think is that we will probably be shown in the blooper reel or how peculiar the Irish are when it comes to gardening.

There’s one thing for sure though. I won’t be watching it.