Well Kept Secret

It’s out in the Open

My well kept secret is out in the open, even though I have tried to hide it from the extended family members. It was bound to happen sometime and I am really surprised that no-one guessed before now.  

I am handy at DIY.  

I have kept this secret under wraps and it was only when we got our new house a short time ago that people began to suspect. The house needed work doing to it such as new walls, floors and paint work. When the work was done, the extended family saw what I was capable of. 

OK some relations knew that I could use a hoe and secateurs and would occasionally ask me to do a bit of weeding or pruning. I have no objections to that.  Now they know I can use a saw, screwdriver, drill and spanners I am starting to get a lot of requests for ‘little jobs’ that need doing indoors. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind doing a bit, but life was certainly quieter when people thought all I was good for was mowing the lawn. I just hope they don’t find out that I can fix cars too.  Apart from putting old chairs back together with wood glue and screws and changing toilet seats for the latest ‘slow fall’ types,  I have also been commandeered to build a lean two at the back of my  mother in laws garage for storing wood in the winter.

How it came about

Before I go into a bit more detail about how I managed to cobble together something that can withstand a hurricane (hopefully) and keep the wood dry, I would like to give you the reason for why this came about in the first place.

Last year my in laws decided to get rid of their conventional open fire and install a wood burning stove. They didn’t stop there and went a step further by putting a smaller wood burning stove in the kitchen so they can keep their toast warm on a cold and frosty morning when they are having breakfast.  They will no doubt still be burning coal but the lure of free wood is very tempting, so we have all been collecting fallen branches from the woods and collecting anything that the tide has brought in from the coastline.  Initially this wood was stored in bags on the garage floor but as the season has progressed we have found a garage full of damp wood that needs the air getting around it to season it and dry it out. I’ve been collecting too this summer but for some reason we don’t seem to have stockpiled much.  Like my mate Paul said this week, he will probably save about 10cent on his heating bills with the amount of wood he has collected whilst out walking his dog. I don’t know about warming you twice as the saying goes, this wood warms me five times. Once as I collect it from the muddy shoreline or forest, once as I drag it back to the car, once as I cut it up, once as I pick it up from the garden after the dog has run off with it then of course when it’s burned on the fire. Pretty good value for money I reckon.

Lots of planning

So we have a pile of soggy wood and old pallets to be dried out and this is where I come in.  I have been drawing ideas down on bits of paper (then losing them) since the beginning of the summer holidays and finally came up with something that I could build from treated wood from the DIY shop.  All that was needed were two 4”x4”x6’ foot posts, some 5”x1” planks for the rafters, some leftover waterproof membrane left over from one of my earlier damp proofing exploits and 25x5’fencing planks.  After a few hours of screwing nails into the wood and wiping sweat from my brow as the tea flowed,  I had created something that looked rather good I thought.  There were plenty of gaps (some unintentional) to let the air pass through and I even built what looked like an old pallet on the ground to get the air moving underneath too.

Well equipped

We are getting well equipped with tools now for cutting the wood into manageable sizes to fit through the stove doors.  I have a chainsaw for the big bits and we have small bow saws when we are out and about just in case anything needs reducing in length to get into the cars.  We have a circular saw for when the wood is back on the workbench so everything is in place.  I think we will probably have paid for the tools in about 5 years on the money we save not having to buy the odd bag of coal.  But it’s not all about the money. The trips into the wilderness give us and the dogs lots of fresh air and exercise and there’s the bonding social side of the family meeting up in lay by’s and shoving rotted planks full of nails and mud into the boot of my clean car.

Of course I have the satisfaction of the family members thinking that I am a DIY genius.  When they ask me how I do it, I tell them that there are two secrets of success. 1, Never tell everything you know.....