Why Did My Plant Die?

Pumpkin Pictures

I can tell by the empty crates in the shops that a lot of us have bought pumpkins this year. I might be wrong but I’ll bet that most of us don’t take them into the kitchen and make good old pumpkin pies. I think most of them will be used to make a spooky faced doorway Halloween candle holder to scare the trick or treaters knocking at the door.

There are some really inventive carving ideas out there and you can even get special pumpkin carving tools if you are taking things very seriously.  Have you been creative this year? If so could you send me your images of the scary work of art, I can post the best ones on the Gardening Matters blog and maybe even put a really scary one here next week. Either send the images to me at info@gardening.ie  or directly to the Inishowen Indo via email, Tweets or Facebook. We look forward to being spooked!!

Back in the 1980’s, Geoffrey Charlesworth wrote a book called “The Opinionated Gardener,” In the book is a poem in answer to why a plant has died. I read it and had a bit of a chuckle to myself initially but then realized that intervening in the course of nature can be a tricky business. A self-set plant in the garden will grow quite happily, but when we get involved the list of things that could go wrong are long. I think Geoffrey has covered most of the answers as to why a plant dies when we try to grow it in his poem. Hopefully it won’t crush your self-confidence; I for one can tick off every one of the reasons as I have done them myself at one time, and still like to garden!

Why Did My Plant Die?

    Geoffrey B. Charlesworth

    You walked too close. You trod on it.

    You dropped a piece of sod on it.

    You hoed it down. You weeded it.

    You planted it the wrong way up.

    You grew it in a yogurt cup

    But you forgot to make a hole;

    The soggy compost took its toll.

    September storm. November drought.

    It heaved in March, the roots popped out.

    You watered it with herbicide.

    You scattered bonemeal far and wide.

    Attracting local omnivores,

    Who ate your plant and stayed for more.

    You left it baking in the sun

    While you departed at a run

    To find a spade, perhaps a trowel,

    Meanwhile the plant threw in the towel.

    You planted it with crown too high;

    The soil washed off, that explains why.

    Too high pH. It hated lime.

    Alas it needs a gentler clime.

    You left the root ball wrapped in plastic.

    You broke the roots. They’re not elastic.

    You walked too close. You trod on it.

    You dropped a piece of sod on it.

    You splashed the plant with mower oil.

    You should do something to your soil.

    Too rich. Too poor. Such wretched tilth.

    Your soil is clay. Your soil is filth.

    Your plant was eaten by a slug.

    The growing point contained a bug.

    These aphids are controlled by ants,

    Who milk the juice, it kills the plants.

    In early spring your garden’s mud.

    You walked around! That’s not much good.

    With heat and light you hurried it.

    You worried it. You buried it.

    The poor plant missed the mountain air:

    No heat, no summer muggs up there.

    You overfed it 10-10-10.

    Forgot to water it again.

    You hit it sharply with the hose.

    You used a can without a rose.

    Perhaps you sprinkled from above.

    You should have talked to it with love.

    The nursery mailed it without roots.

    You killed it with those gardening boots.

    You walked too close. You trod on it.

    You dropped a piece of sod on it.